When Loss Becomes Purpose
My name is Joy, and I never expected to become passionate about helping families plan their final wishes. But life has a way of showing us what truly matters through our most difficult experiences.
In 2023, I lost my beloved sister Kelly to pancreatic cancer after a two-year battle. When she passed, we thought we knew what she would have wanted. After all, we’d cared for her and knew her heart, her values, her personality. But we quickly discovered that knowing someone deeply and knowing their specific final wishes are two very different things.
Some of Kelly’s special friends were left out of the funeral because no one knew to invite them. Without clear instructions from Kelly, we all naturally had different ideas about what she would have wanted. We couldn’t even remove her social media accounts without passwords or clear instructions.
Standing at Kelly’s funeral, I realised even the most loving families can get things wrong when they’re left to guess.
From Heartbreak to Helping Others
The experience with Kelly changed everything for me. We talk about her now as if she’s around us, guiding and supporting us – because in many ways, she still is. Her loss taught me that death isn’t something to fear, but it is something we need to prepare for.
My passion for helping families wasn’t new – I’d previously written a children’s book called “Jaxon He is a Star” to raise funds for a child fighting rare cancer. But Kelly’s death revealed a gap I’d never considered: what happens when loving families have no roadmap through their grief.
What I now understand about grief is this: there’s a long period afterward where you just get by. During this time, the last thing families should have to worry about is whether they’re making the right decisions about honouring their loved one.
I do this work because our story doesn’t have to be every family’s story. It showed me, with the right preparation, your family can focus on celebrating your life instead of second-guessing their decisions. But most importantly, it showed me my purpose.
It was through this experience I realised I could use my organisational skills, writing abilities, and photography expertise to help other families avoid what we went through.
The Manual Was Born From Necessity
Due to what we’d been through, I knew something had to change. Families deserve better than educated guesses during grief.
Drawing on my background in creative writing (including my children’s book “Jaxon He Is a Star”), I began developing a system – something gentle yet thorough. The Final Wishes Manual emerged from months of research and conversations with grieving families.
This isn’t your typical legal document. Instead, it’s a heartfelt guide that captures who you really are. Yes, we cover practical matters like insurance policies and important contacts. However, we also explore your favourite memories, proudest achievements, and hopes for how people will remember you.
Think of it as writing your autobiography’s final chapter, rather than filling out paperwork.
How I Can Support You & Your Family
I offer two ways to help you create clarity for your loved ones:
The Final Wishes Manual – A comprehensive, fillable guide you can complete at your own pace. Perfect for those who prefer to work through their thoughts privately before having conversations with family. Many people find this gives them confidence and clarity about what they truly want.
Personal Consultation – We can work together to explore your wishes, discuss any questions that arise, and ensure nothing important gets overlooked. Having walked this path myself, I understand both the reluctance and the relief that comes from completing this important task.
I also guide families in planning meaningful photo displays, quality eulogies, and memorial videos that transform services into true celebrations of life rather than simply sad occasions.
Whether you start with the manual or prefer to chat first, my goal remains the same: ensuring your family never has to guess what you would have wanted. Together, we can transform uncertainty into confidence and create a lasting gift of love for those you care about most.
My Promise to You
When people complete their manual with me, I want them to look back at their life and create a bucket list for their immediate future – because documenting final wishes makes you want to live more fully right now.
This work has taught me to make the most of every day and live my dreams now, not someday. Kelly’s death showed me my purpose: ensuring your family can focus on celebrating your life instead of second-guessing their decisions.
I want families to feel that I understood what they were facing and offered empathy and kindness during a difficult time.
Because at the end of the day, this isn’t just about planning – it’s about love. It’s about ensuring your family feels your care and guidance even when you can no longer provide it yourself.
Let me help you give your family that gift.